NEW YORK – A local man yesterday admitted to himself he only watches movies for kids.

John P., age 29, yesterday realized whenever he went to the cinema or buys a DVD, it's a movie made for kids.

"I think it started with the new Star Wars movies some years ago. Out of nostalgia I saw them, like everybody else. But you got to admit this stuff is best when you are 8. Do you remember when Anakin Skywalker lost his mother and Queen Amidala asked him why he's down?"

John is a single from New York. He used to work in a video store and took up selling computers in 2002.
John clearly sees a trend among his peers, but still thinks his own behavior is a tad more infantile. DVDs he owns include Rocky I, Rocky II, Jaws, the Matrix trilogy, and the The Last Unicorn (to which he bought soundtrack and book as well).

"I like to see action movies, like I, Robot. I will certainly see the next Indiana Jones. I mean it's definitely kids stuff I'm going for. I should be watching movies by Pasolini, Fellini, and Jarmusch. All the black and white stuff. I just don't feel like it."

John realized the more he watches simpler entertainment, the less he likes a movie to challenge him. Friends snub him for belonging to the popcorn-feel-good movie crowd.

"Now I started to like Teletubbies on TV. I should say it's because of the psychedelic colors and hidden sociopolitical satire. But I guess I'm watching it for the same reasons a 3-year old would."

By FakeToday correspondent Philipp Lenssen (8/28/2004).