Marlboro Wednesday revealed a new type of cigarette, named "SmokeOn", which does not affect a smoker's health.

Marlboro spokesman Dardoni told the press "Our new SmokeOn flavor not only gives you the great taste you expect from a real Marlboro. Even better, it doesn't cause cancer."

Dardoni goes on to say SmokeOn "will not create foggy air, yellow fingers, or coughing friends." In short, as Dardoni puts it and points to the giant new SmokeOn advertising "SmokeOn means healthy smoking."

New power-smokers already group together in the lobby. Julianne (last name withhold) didn't smoke for 2 years after one of her boyfriends broke up with her. "I was so devastated when he said he didn't love me because I smell like an ash-tray. So I stopped smoking. But the new SmokeOn flavor actually leaves only chewing-gum fragrance."

Julianne, whose career is halting because she misses out on joining the smokers in the office, expects more prosperous, happier times to come.

Robert, who also tried the new Marlboros, plans to smoke "a lot more than I did before." He adds, "I was trying to limit myself to one, two packs a day. Let me tell you, those days are over."

Robert told us he likes the fact he can smoke SmokeOn in places where smoking is not allowed, like restaurants, or the bus. "SmokeOn is quite another league. It's legally OK to smoke them in non-smoking places."

Mr. Dardoni feels the new flavor might take off to be the "next big puff" in the smoking world, mainly because it also attracts non-smokers.

"What are the top reasons non-smokers don't smoke? After all, it simply feels great to hold these sticks in your hand. And statistics prove you will be more accepted in your peer group, be more attractive to the other sex. The top reason non-smokers don't smoke," Dardoni continues, lighting up a cigarette, "is their fear of death. You know what, we solved that problem – SmokeOn is all about living again."

By FakeToday correspondent Philipp Lenssen (10/10/2004).